wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
