What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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