1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
