Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
