brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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