sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
