Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
