I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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