If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
