I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
