So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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