No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
