First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
