I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
