Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
