He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
