Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
