Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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