Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's like heaven, but drunker
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
