I think I am morally bankrupt
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
