im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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