her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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