I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
