In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
