If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
