She said her name was "party"
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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