Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
