if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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