My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
