you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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