Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
