ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have fence marks all over my body
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just puked most of my soul out..
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
