I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
