Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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