I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
