So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
