I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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