How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
