I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
