how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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