a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
