You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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