Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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