This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
