I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
