we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
