Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize