The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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