I love black thongs
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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