i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize