you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
