My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
