your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
